Would you rather not even think about climate change and how you feel about it, let alone talk about it?
If your response is “Yes” you're not alone
Many of us don’t want to talk about it on a day to day basis, and especially we don’t want to talk about how we feel about it, because it stirs up a whole bunch of difficult feelings we’d rather not have.
Feelings like fear, uncertainty, ambivalence, resistance, grief, anger, apathy, powerlessness, defeat, and more - these are just normal at a time of such uncertainty. Yet “climate feelings” – especially those that are seen by some societies as “negative” emotions – are often taboo in family, friendship circles, workplaces and society to express.
So we use defences to supress them, such as denial (“it’s not happening and here’s the proof it’s not”) and disavowal (knowing yet not allowing yourself to know) can be deeply and unconsciously entrenched and often converted into toxic positivity or “hopium”. Or conversely, apathy and helplessness.
And this can happen in groups too. “Socially constructed silence” is a term from Eviator Zerumbavel describing how societies supress talking or even thinking about difficult issues. It prevents honest conversations and engagement with realities - like about our relationship with the rest of the living world, and the systems of harm that we live in and feel locked into, systems and ways of living that those in now-wealthier “Global north” or “Western” nations generally accept, often unconsciously.
Yet scientists tell us that if we carry on heating the planet at the current rate, in 76 years (by 2100) huge areas of the world will be uninhabitable for humans. Some researchers say as much as 75%. When today's new born babies, if they survive to it, will perhaps be grandparents. So it’s not that far away.
So why do I think we need to talk about it more? Here are my thoughts:
Being aware of & talking about what’s happening is a strong basis for "adaptive coping". Avoidance just makes us less resilient - just like any relationship where the issues are avoided...so we don't seek shared solutions or make the wisest decisions.
Climate change is really an issue of disconnection from relationships. With ourselves, the wider world, the rest of nature, with others. And we know that relationships can improve when we talk and listen to each other.
Talking & listening builds that connection & trust. To realise we’re not alone. And we will need people & strong communities more than ever before as we face the challenges that lie ahead.
If we're not talking now, how will we cope when we’re even more directly impacted as many around the world are (and have been for YEARS)? Yet some still think it's not going to happen to them, that somehow they are & will be exempt from the impact. They're not. And they won't be.
Deep down, most of us care about other lives, human & more than human. Many of these lives - past, present & future - have or will have done the least to cause it. Is it fair that we ignore them?
If we don’t talk amongst ourselves, we’re not likely to join together to press for change and decisive urgent action from our leaders – so we won't get it. We need to challenge unsustainable systems & push for systemic change so we can make better choices.
The silence about climate change is really impacting families. I meet young people every day who say they can't mention it because their parents feel too guilty or helpless to talk about it. Or their friends and parents think they're being dramatic - so they don't feel listened to or taken seriously - they're being dismissed by the people they love, which adds to their hurt.
If we're unwilling to listen to our children, we're actually abandoning them to face it alone. However, some children aren’t going to talk unless we initiate the conversation by asking them how they're feeling about all that's going on in the world. So they worry, in silence. But if your child was being bullied at school, wouldn't you encourage them to talk about it?
We'll continue to feel disconnected and dissonant with our world if we don't communicate better about what’s happening to it - and if we don’t talk about it we’re living a lie, yet I would guess that most people reading this value truth.
Suppressing our "negative" feelings can have a really negative impact on our mental and physical health including the manifestation of distress in other ways. Yet when we can express them, we leave room for other feelings, like gratitude, love and care. It is these that give us agency, commitment, persistence, resilience and determination. So I say let all feelings be heard!
Here are just some of the reasons I think talking about it is so important - I’d be interested to hear yours. If you would like to think and talk about climate change and some of the feelings it brings up, whether in your personal or professional life, for you, your team or whole organisation, get in touch. I offer keynotes and short talks, team and group workshops, climate conversations training, and climate cafe listening circles and more. So let’s talk!
© Linda Aspey December 2024
Photo courtesy of Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash